Wonder if you could be one of "those "
parents who rant and rage at their kid's soccer game?
Well, you don't have to look much farther than your
car's rearview mirror for clues.
According to a new study in the June issue of the
Journal of Applied Social Psychology, if you
have a tendency to become upset while driving, you're
more likely to be the kind of parent who explodes in
anger at your kids' sports matches.
Research by kinesiology Ph.D student Jay Goldstein
of the University of Maryland School of Public Health
found that ego defensiveness, one of the triggers that
ignites road rage, also kicks off parental "sideline
rage," and that a parent with a control-oriented
personality is more likely to react to that trigger by
becoming angry and aggressive.
By surveying parents at youth soccer games in
suburban Washington, D.C., Goldstein found that
parents became angry when their ego got in the way.
"When they perceived something that happened during
the game to be personally directed at them or their
child, they got angry." says Goldstein. "That's
consistent with findings on road rage."
And the parents who Goldstein defines as
control-oriented were far more likely to take
something personally and flare up at referees,
opposing players, and even their own kids, than
autonomy-oriented parents, who take greater
responsibility for their own behavior.
"In general, control-oriented people are the kind
who try to 'keep up with the Joneses,'" Goldstein
says. "They have a harder time controlling their
reactions. They more quickly become one of 'those'
parents than the parents who are able to separate
their ego from their kids and events on the field."
However, Goldstein says, even autonomy-oriented
parents get angry, and when they do, ego defensiveness
is the trigger. "While they're more able to control
it, once they react to the psychological trigger, the
train has already left the station."
Effect on Kids
Fan rage in professional sports has been studied,
but there is little data on why parents erupt in anger
at their kids' sports matches, something that's
happening more often, according to coaches.
"What effect does that have on the kids? Parents
have tremendous influence over how their child
interprets an experience by what parents do and say,"
says Goldstein, who once ran youth soccer events
professionally. His interest in finding out more about
parental anger started with an incident at one of
those tournaments.
"A parent snapped and struck a child, not her own.
I thought 'there's more to this than being a bad
parent.' What would trigger that kind of reaction?"
Getting Angry
In 2004, Goldstein enlisted voluntary input from
340 parents attending their kids' soccer games in the
Washington suburbs. Before the game, parents filled
out a questionnaire that would identify them as either
control or autonomy oriented.
As soon as the game ended, parents answered another
questionnaire that revolved around what, if anything,
during the course of the game may have caused them to
become angry, defined as "an emotional state that
varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense
fury and rage."
More than half of the parents, 53 percent, reported
getting angry, to some degree, during the game. The
sources of the anger were most often the referee and
their own children's teams. Most parents reported
getting only slightly angry for less than two minutes.
About 40 percent of the parents reported responding
to their anger with actions that ranged from muttering
to themselves to yelling and walking toward the field.
"Regardless of their personality type, all parents
were susceptible to becoming more aggressive as a
result of viewing actions on the field as affronts to
them or their kids," said Goldstein. "However, that
being said, it took autonomy-oriented parents longer
to get there as compared to the control-oriented
parents."
Interventions
Goldstein hopes to follow with more studies that
look at other geographic areas, populations and
sports. "This study was predominantly white middle
class parents," he says.
He also hopes to study effects of sideline rage on
the kids. "Parents won't change until they realize
they're hurting their children."
Goldstein's goal is to use his findings to develop
interventions that can help parents recognize the
onset of anger triggers and control their reactions.
Co-author on the paper is Seppo E. Iso-Ahola,
professor in the kinesiology department of the
University of Maryland School of Public Health.
Jay Goldstein's Tips
For Not Becoming One of Those Parents
When you feel your anger rising at
something you see on the field:
- Controlled deep breathing exercises (inhale for
4 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds)
- Suck on a lollipop (Occupies your mouth and
reminds you that you're there for your child.)
- Visualize a relaxing experience like floating on
water.
- Repeat a calm word or phrase
- Do yoga-like muscle stretches.
- Replace angry thoughts with rational ones, such
as "This is my child's game, not mine," or "Mistakes
are opportunities to learn."
- Don't say the first thing that comes into your
head. Count to 10 and think about possible
responses.
- If you did not see the game, first ask your
child "How did you play?" rather than "Did you win?"
- Praise your child's effort, then, maybe, comment
on the results.
- Use humor, but avoid harsh or sarcastic humor.
Picture the referee wearing Elton John glasses.
|
Source:-
University of Maryland, College
Park
Published on 20th
June 2008
|
Advertisement
 |
